Santana Vs Cat
by Demon ninja of the leaf
Summary: Title taken from the show "Kid vs. Kat". Santana has never been a cat person. Moments of never ending battle with Brittany's cat Charity.


Santana Vs. Cat

It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon, that was thankfully homework free, and Santana decided to spend it lazing around her room listening to music and reading the latest issue of her favorite magazine. She was just starting to doze off when her cell phone rang loudly causing Santana to jump. She glared at the object before grabbing it and answering.

"Hello?"

"Santana." Brittany's voice came through. Santana could immediately tell something was wrong given that she could hear Brittany sniffling.

"Britt what's wrong?"

"It's Charity." Santana immediately frowned at the mention of the cat. "She's missing, I've looked all over the house for her." By the time she finished Brittany was openly crying and Santana cringed at the sound. She may hate the cat but she knew Brittany loved her and Santana knew that she would be spending the rest of her Saturday looking for it.

"It'll be okay Britt. I'll come over and help look for her. I'll be there soon." Santana said and as soon as she got Brittany to calm down, hung up the phone and prepared to leave.

Since it was such a nice day outside, Santana decided to walk the few blocks to Brittany's so she could enjoy the weather. On her walk Santana remembered the first time she met Charity.

_Santana had never been much of a cat person. Dogs were the way to go, that and cats were completely disgusting. Brittany called her one weekend stating that she had a surprise and Santana ran through all the possibilities, from dancing around the house and singing at the top of their lungs to cuddle time while they watch a movie. So imagine Santana's surprise when she was met with a new kitten. It was black and white and small enough to fit into Brittany's hand._

"_Britt, what is that?" Santana asked warily_

_Brittany giggled, "It's a new kitty silly."_

"_I know that but why is it here?"_

_Brittany sighed and turned to face Santana, who was as far away from the kitten as possible without looking suspicious, "My parents brought me a new cat, I've been begging them to let me have one for months."_

_Brittany turned back around to face the kitten and Santana was starting to feel a little ignored and didn't like it._

"_But you said you had a surprise for me." Santana almost whined. _

"_I already showed you, it's Charity."_

"_Charity? Who is that?"_

_Brittany turned around quickly and Santana was suddenly face to face with the new cat. Completely unprepared for the abrupt closeness with the cat, Santana let out a yelp and jumped away from the cat. Brittany burst out in laughter and continued to play with Charity while Santana glared at the both of them from the corner._

"_Fine, I'm going to leave then." Santana pouted._

_Brittany looked up briefly but continued to tease Charity with a feather, "Awww come on Santana, don't be like that. We can still hang out."_

_Santana sighed, she was pretty sure she was not going to like this cat. Her theory was proven correct when she spent the rest of the afternoon fighting for Brittany's attention._

Santana chuckled as at the memory as she rang the doorbell and was immediately met by a teary eyed Brittany.

"What's so funny?" Brittany asked

"Nothing, just remembering when I first met Charity."

Brittany smiled briefly and Santana was proud of herself for getting the blonde girl to smile. Santana followed her into the living room and they sat on the couch as Santana hugged Brittany and rubbed her back.

"It will be okay. We'll find her." Santana assured her.

Brittany sniffed, "What else do you remember about her?"

Santana looked up briefly searching for a memory, "I know that for the longest time we hated each other."

Brittany shot up and looked at Santana in shock. "You hated each other? I mean I know you guys would glare at each other but why?"

"We were fighting over you Britt. You mean you never noticed that?" Santana replied as Brittany shook her head in the negative.

"Come on, I'll tell you while we look for her." They both got up and started to look around the room.

_It was a Wednesday after a challenging cheerios practice and Santana was just happy to finally be allowed to lie down and rest. Brittany could be heard downstairs making herself a snack and Santana took that time to rest her eyes. She was just starting to doze off when she heard the door slowly open. Santana figured it was Brittany coming in and trying to be quiet but then felt the bed shift in a way that didn't feel normal._

_Santana opened her eyes and was met with the smug look of Charity. Santana glared at the cat, it didn't matter if Brittany had the thing for five months now, she still didn't like it. They both stared at each other before Charity moved over to Santana and laid down on her lap. Santana was tense but resisted the urge to throw the cat around the room. She really didn't want to upset Brittany by throwing her cat around. Santana had just started to relax again and closed her eyes when she felt it: a slight pain in her leg. It was so brief Santana thought she had imagined it. It happened a few more times and Santana smack Charity lightly on the head to get her to stop. She felt Charity stand and yelled out in pain when the cat dug her claws into her leg. Santana's immediate reaction was to toss the cat away from her which only made things worse._

_Brittany, hearing Santana yell, ran into the room and found Santana holding her leg with glassy eyes while glaring at Charity who sat calmly in the middle of the room and licked her paw._

"_What happened?" Brittany asked while walking over to Santana._

"_Your damn cat tried to use me as a scratching post." Santana growled out. Brittany moved Santana's hand and gasped at the scratches that were starting to bleed._

_Brittany turned to Charity and frowned, "Bad cat. You're not supposed to scratch Santana." _

_Charity stopped licking her paw and looked a Brittany before walking out of the room. Santana couldn't help but feel happy that Brittany told the little demon cat off and spent the next few minutes fussing after her and her injuries._

After searching the living room, they had moved on to Brittany's bedroom by the time Santana finished her story.

"Did she really do that?" Brittany asked before getting on her knees and search under her bed for the lost cat. Santana shamelessly enjoyed the view.

Continuing her search in the closet, Santana replied, "Yeah she did; now you can see that I had perfectly good reason to not like your cat."

"But that was only one time. I made sure of it; we had a talk and everything." Brittany said while frowning at not finding the cat in her favorite spot.

"Fine, she may have stopped scratching me but that still doesn't mean she isn't evil."

"Oh really, do tell then."

Santana sighed when her search didn't produce a fat aging cat. She did tell Brittany to not feed the cat so much; it's shameful to have a fat cat that sits on its ass all day. "Fine, give me a moment to think."

_It was their bi-monthly movie night and Santana had chosen a really good movie just perfect for snuggling. She could be found laying on the couch, her head resting on Brittany's lap. Santana wasn't paying much attention to the movie as she was too busy being on the lookout for Charity. The cat had been creeping around ever since they sat down and Santana got to Brittany first._

_Santana closed her eyes in pleasure as Brittany ran her fingers through her hair. Just when she was starting to get comfortable Brittany stopped._

"_Why did you stop?" Santana asked._

"_We're out of popcorn." Brittany replied. Santana opened her eyes and saw that Brittany was looking pointedly at her._

"_Awww come on Brit, I just got comfortable."_

"_But I want more popcorn and I always burn it. Please?" Brittany pouted._

_Santana tried her hardest to resist the pout but only lasted a minute before Brittany's eyes started to water and she immediately gave in._

"_Fine, give me the bowl."_

_Brittany smiled and happily gave Santana the popcorn bowl. Santana grumbled as she got up and walked to the kitchen to make the popcorn. When she came back, Santana stopped and gapped in anger; Charity had taken her spot on Brittany's lap. _

_Brittany looked over, "Hurry, and bring the popcorn."_

_Santana frowned and sat next to Brittany, handing her the popcorn. Charity looked at her with a smug look before closing her eyes as Brittany patted her head. Santana spent the rest of the movie glaring at Charity._

Santana frowned at Brittany as she fell over in laughter. They were in the basement searching for Charity in the laundry room.

"It's not funny Brit."

"But you're holding a grudge against a cat." Brittany giggled before pausing, "That was like five months ago, you remember all that?"

Santana stuck out her tongue, "My memory is not that bad."

"That story also doesn't prove that Charity is evil." Brittany shot back.

Santana sighed, "You know the most evil thing she does. She did it last week. I swear that fat cat has something against me."

Brittany cocked her head in confusion, "What?"

_It's been a whole month since the last time Santana has gotten laid. Freaking Artie; it took her a month to convince Brittany to sleep with her. Needless to say, Santana was horny. When Brittany invited her over after glee Santana couldn't have come quicker and was now enjoying her sweet lady kisses._

"_I really missed your lady kisses." Brittany murmured in between kisses._

"_Yeah, me too."_

_Things started to get heated and hands started to roam. Santana moaned as Brittany's leg gave her the friction she desperately needed before feeling Brittany freeze._

"_What's wrong?" Santana asked before looking at what caught Brittany's attention. There standing in the doorway was Charity who was staring at them._

"_Just ignore her Brit." Santana said trying to get back to making out. Brittany tried but after a few moments stopped again._

"_Santana I can't, can we stop?"_

_Santana groaned before rolling off of Brittany. Brittany looked over apologetically before leaving the room. Santana glared at Charity, who was licking her paw, trying desperately to repress her homicidal urges towards the cat._

"Oh, I remember that. Yeah she does that a lot." Brittany said as she grabbed a water bottle out of the refrigerator for the both of them.

"See, evil." Santana agreed before taking the water bottle. Both were silent, lost in their own thoughts as they drank their water.

"Can you think of any other place she might be?" Santana asked breaking the silence.

Brittany thought for a moment, "Well, my mom was out in the backyard tending to her garden earlier. Charity does like to go under the back porch sometimes."

Santana nodded before heading out to the backyard, Brittany following closely behind. Santana stood back and watched as Brittany pulled out a flashlight and crawled under the porch. She jumped when Brittany let out a sudden shriek.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Santana asked quickly as she ran to Brittany's side. Brittany crawled back out and looked at Santana with the brightest smile she had ever seen.

"Charity had kittens!" Brittany yelled before launching into a crushing hug that had Santana gasping for air. Brittany's mom, hearing the scream, came running out and Brittany told her what they had discovered.

Santana sat frozen in shock and silence, despondently watching Brittany and her mom dance around in joy at the new additions. Santana couldn't believe it; fate had a cruel sense of humor. It was hard enough trying to deal with one cat, now the thing had produced even more evil spawns. She grabbed the abandoned flashlight and looked under the porch, counting five new wrinkly kittens. Santana scoffed in disgust and turned off the flashlight. This was horrible and Santana couldn't do anything but burst into tears.

"Awww Santana please don't cry." Brittany said pulling Santana into a hug.


End file.
